This is completely ridiculous.

TL;DR for impatient people:

No, vaccines don’t cause autism. The CDC conducted a study in 2013 that concluded that vaccines do not cause autism. This fake claim has been debunked multiple times.

No, vaccines don’t “modify” your DNA. Here’s the Snopes article about it. The article correctly explains how vaccines work and does a far better job explaining how vaccines work than I can.

No, vaccines don’t have microchips. Oh, you need the source for that, too? Here’s an article from Slate explaining why microchips inside vaccines would be an horribly inefficient way of tracking people. Here’s another article from USA Today that debunks the idea.

It’s so stupid that people have to disprove myths like these in 2020. We have the Internet, for crying out loud. All the sources I listed above were found in a couple seconds with a DuckDuckGo search.

A more detailed explanation regarding microchipped vaccines

Here’s my take on why microchips inside vaccines don’t make much sense.

For starters, all electronic devices require some sort of power supplied to them in order to function. For consumer devices, power usually comes from plugs or batteries.

Let’s think like a malicious vaccine creator. First, we can rule out electricity supplied from plugs, for obvious reasons. It would be extremely suspicious if we asked our vaccine patients to stick their fingers in electricity sockets every five days. That leaves a battery implant. But battery implants don’t make sense, since you still need to charge that battery implant or else it will lose its charge and become useless after a couple of days. Back to the drawing board.

All right, how about biological power? Our body emits heat. Wouldn’t it be possible to convert heat into electricity?

Well, there are some inventions that turn body heat into electricity. But this is still a concept, and it’s not ready for mass production. And the power output from this concept invention is only 0.2 V, which isn’t enough to power any meaningful chipset on the market right now. A boost converter? You’d require additional circuitry for that, increasing the size of the payload.

So that strikes out power delivery. But let’s say crazy scientists have developed technology to supply power out of thin air, ignoring all laws of physics.

Next is circuitry size. Remember, for these chips to “track” you, they require multiple components, including GPS chipsets and radio chipsets, as well as antennas to work with these chipsets. Here’s the smallest GPS chipset right now. Remember, that’s just the chip. For it to be meaningful, you need heaps of other components, like the antenna to receive GPS transmissions from satellites and pretty much the rest of the circuit board, including the radio to send the GPS data back to some central server.

A three-year-old could probably determine that such a chip would not fit in a syringe needle because most needles have extremely tiny openings. Just look at this needle size chart. Of course, three-year-olds will probably run away at the sight of a needle so they won’t have time to tell you how stupid you are for believing that vaccine makers could put complex circuitry inside a vaccine payload.

Oh, you want to abstract that away, too? Fine. Let’s throw common sense out the window and see what we can acheive. Let’s suppose that there is some theoretical “microchip” that can be powered by free energy and can send GPS coordinates back using nano-sized components that do not exist anywhere. Let’s say that this all fits within a vaccine payload that is meant to be administered by a syringe needle with an extremely small opening.

Aside from the fact that this will break all laws of physics that exist right now and make Sir Isaac Newton extremely sad in his grave, such surveillance is not necessary. Why?

Because mass surveillance is already a reality, and people are completely fine with it. Why bother creating an impossible circuit to track you with, when companies and governments can just track your devices instead? Your phone and laptop are already very easy targets to track you with.

For example, your phone has two identifiers - IMEI and IMSI - that it constantly broadcasts to stay connected to the network. Tracking this is so easy that it’s possible with off-the-shelf hardware sold on eBay for a couple hundred dollars. Oh, and most of the apps you use record and send back data which can be used to track you.

Keep in mind that your phone is a treasure trove of data. Forget microchipped vaccines. Your interactions on your phone is worth way more than all that. The conspiracy theories you post on social media about how vaccines are being microchipped to track you are already far more valuable information describing how gullible you are.

Oh, and that GPS tracking you mentioned? Yes, your phone tracks you using GPS. Surprise! You didn’t know this? Android phones track you by default - take a look at all the places that you visited with Google’s Location History and Google Maps Timeline.

Think you’re safe with your Apple devices? Even your precious iPhone records location data. Don’t believe me? Go into Settings and look for “Significant Locations.” Sure, this stays on your device, but it’s misleading to say that this isn’t GPS tracking. It’s just not sent anywhere.

If I’m an evil corporation or government hellbent on collecting dirt on my customers or citizens, then I’d probably start with these awesome devices instead of trying to waste my money and time on researching and developing these impossible tracking microchips.

So for the last time: vaccines don’t have microchips. These chips are impossible to create and do not have a great ROI.

Now I need to go clear my browser history before DuckDuckGo thinks I’m some kind of conspiracy theorist.